1. Minimize interruptions. Have you been in the situation when you are speaking to someone and their phone pings and, even if they don’t look at it, you can tell they are distracted, wondering who is contacting them?
It’s important to demonstrate to someone that you are listening to them and taking an active interest. How? Focus on them. Use eye contact. However, you don’t want to come across all creepy with a dead-eye stare, so a handy way to avoid this is to casually gaze at the third eye, a point slightly above and between the two eyes.
Watch out for your body language too such as crossing your arms in front of your chest, which can be considered defensive.
2. Ask questions to clarify: If you need clarity on anything the other person has said – ask them to clarify. This means there will be less chance of miscommunication, and it also shows the speaker that you are listening to them.
Do you ever notice, especially socially, when you might tell someone about your holiday experience and they don’t probe any further, but launch into their holiday story in response? This is listening to reply.
3. Paraphrase: If appropriate, repeat back a summary of what the person has said, focusing on important or action points. This can be especially useful in work situations when complex issues are being discussed. Again, this demonstrates you are listening and it also ensures fewer communication errors.
4. Acknowledge feelings: You can show empathy to the speaker by acknowledging their feelings. For example, if they are describing something that was difficult for them you can simply say, “That must have been difficult for you.”
You may notice a change in their voice or body language when a particular topic is raised and these clues will also help you to understand their feelings.
James O'Boyle MBA MSc
Emotionally Agile You Newletter - A smorgasbord of tools, techniques and scientifically driven advice to help you thrive.
Photo Saeed Karimi Unsplash
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